We have the right to be heard.... right?

Many of you have asked where things stand with Ana's birthparents signing the termination paperwork.  We were told that it would be drafted up within a week or two and that birthmom and dad should sign by the end of September.  Well, because DHS's legal department hasn't done their job, nothing has been drafted for Ana's parents to sign which means that we are at a stand still.  I just don't understand!  This is such an easy case to close and move on with and they can't find the time to draft a letter for parents to sign saying that they WANT to terminate????  Isn't this what every DHS worker hopes for when they know that parents can't care for their child and won't be reunited with them? 

What's super frustrating is that we as foster parents have NO say in how things progress and can't even make a phone call asking for an update on the paperwork.  We have absolutely NO rights when it comes to this little girl we have loved and cared for over these past 18 months.  Thankfully we have amazing caseworkers but still!  I want that phone call that says that paperwork is done and ready to be signed so that we can start our 30 day count down. 

I will continue to lay this at the Throne because that's all I can do knowing that God's timing and plan for this little one are perfect.....

A LOT HAS HAPPENED IN 9 MONTHS...

 

 

Well, hello again strangers!  Where have you, er.... I been?  I have the best of intentions of keeping everyone updated and using this blog almost as a journal of our family's journey but well, I forget to blog!  :) 

So, where are things now?  The last time I updated, it was December and Ana had been here for 8 months.

In January, she had major reconstructive leg surgery and was in a cast for 3 months.  To keep her healthy, we opted to have a home nurse here (instead of sending her back to medical daycare) between January and April.  We needed to keep her as healthy as possible so that we could schedule her cleft palate surgery.  Nurse Brittany was such a blessing and became a part of our family in no time. Cleft palate surgery happened on April 25th and phew... what an ordeal that was!  Because of swelling, Ana had to be re-intubated and remained in ICU for over 2 weeks.  Ten days later, she was back in ICU because she had the RSV virus.  We got her vaccinated routinely for 6 months  (at $1500 a shot) but she still got it!  She was once again in ICU for another 16 days.  We had a few quite weeks before she caught a cold and aspirated and ended up with aspiration pneumonia. She was in the hospital this time for 8 days but not in ICU... just a regular room.  :)  Oh, the things we take for granted!  July was a quiet month filled with lazy summer days then on August 2nd, Ana had her tonsils and adenoids removed because with her cleft palate closed, her tonsils and adenoids were obstructing her airway.  Even increased amounts of oxygen weren't doing the trick so out they came!  She was only in the hospital for 2 days which was HUGE!  She is such a fighter and our hero.  Even with 3 surgeries in 8 months, she continues to grow and develop (at her own pace of course) and is such a pleasant, happy baby.  Baby?!?!?  Can I even call her that anymore?  She's going to be 2 next month! 

 So I mentioned in my last post that her birthmom was somewhat involved and made it to some of her visits and medial appointments.  Well...

Our last court hearing was Tuesday, September 4th.  At that court hearing Ana's birthparents declared before the judge that they would voluntarily sign over their parental rights.  This news was HUGE!!!!!  My eyes swell with tears each time I think about what Ana's birthmom said to our caseworker just a few days before court.  She told her that she loves her daughter so much but knows that her medical needs are complex and while it's the toughes thing she has ever done or will ever do, she wants to give Ana a life that she knows she can never give her.  She wants us to adopt her because she knows that we love her like our own and that we will advocate for her.  I can not even begin to imagine what she experiencing and feeling as she made that decision but I am forever grateful that she loves her daughter so much that she is willing to make such a selfless decision.  Papers are being drafted for birthparents to sign by the end of September.  Once they are signed, we hold our breath for 30 days incase they change their minds.  Our next court date is December 3rd and at that point, if rights are terminated, we will be able to officially start Ana's adoption process.  Wooo hooo!!! 

Perhaps I should also mention that Ethan and Andrew (12 and 11 years old now) are back in public school.  :)  Eli is in a "special" preschool for behavioral issues and Kayla is in preschool 3 mornings a week.  That light at the end of the tunnel that never seemed to flicker has finally started to flicker... I am starting to get a little bit of time to myself and while this might sound selfish, I am SO thankful for the break I get.  Don't get me wrong... our days are still filled with busy activites and trips to Philly for Ana's appointments.  Kayla has started a ballet class, Eli is taking swim lessons and the boys have started up with tennis.  I found time to start taking Zumba classes twice a week (while Kay is at preschool) and I just started training for a 5K.  I don't know which one (do I have to decide now?) but it's something I recently decided I wanted to try to do.  I am NOT a runner so the program I'm following is a great fit.  It's called Couch to 5K and is such a wonderful way to slowly train and make baby steps towards becoming a runner.  It will be interesting to see if I ever did sign up to run a 5K the next time I blog. :) 

A Piece of Cake

This is too funny. I was reading a blog update that I wrote about a year ago saying how hard it was to keep up with blogging because of having a 10 year old, 9 year old, 2 year old and 1 year old. Little did I know that having just my four children would be a piece of cake compared to where we are now in life.

Life is still busy with my children now 11, 10, 3 and 2 years of age but add in there a special needs baby and homeschooling and life is no longer a piece of cake... well, not like everyone thinks I mean when I say "piece of cake". You see, my life is a piece of cake. It is sweeter and richer then ever before and another layer has been added. In April, we have had our eyes opened wide to the world of Special Needs children.

I often say that I am living my dream. I love that I am able to be home with my kids, and able to teach and mold them most hours of the day. I enjoy making lunches and eating them together around our kitchen table with papers and notebooks piled high. I love getting to watch our kids play together and help each other. I love that my oldest boys are around and usually wake up the little ones with me. Don't get me wrong. I still live for "rest time" in our house because I am usually the one laying down and taking a rest. Yes, even in the midst of chaos and confusion, I take time to lay down and sleep or read or talk on the phone.

God has called me and Steve to care for our newest "layer"... our sweet baby Ana. There is no doubt that she is supposed to be here in our home with us now. On Monday, April 25, 2011, we called our agency letting them know that we were open to having another foster child join our family. We enjoyed our time "off" from fostering after the adoption of Eli and Kayla to enjoy a caseworker free life. But we were ready to minister to another child in need. I mentioned to the gal on the phone that Steve and I prayed about it and we were open to having a child with some special medical needs as long as we acquire the proper medical training. The next afternoon, during rest time, the phone rang and it was our agency. They had a placement for us if we were interested. I said sure and the caseworker started telling me about this little miracle baby who was 6 months old and was just now ready to be discharged from the NICU. The she told me all of the medical issues that the baby has. While she was telling me about them, I was "Googling" them on my phone. I was scared but intrigued and said yes to Ana joining our family. The caseworker said it would probably be a temporary placement and that Ana would go home at the next court hearing 3 months later because her mom was very motivated and wanted her back. "Ok. No problem. She's more then welcome to stay with us for however long she needs to" I said to the caseworker. After hours of medical training over a 2 day period, we carried her out of the hospital on Thursday, April 28th and she breathed her first breath of fresh air and felt the sunshine on her face. She was discharged on her "1/2 birthday"! Never had I seen such a small little thing with so much stuff! Not only did she have the typical baby stuff but now we were adding an IV pole, a feeding pump, syringes, gauze, suction machines, feed bags, cans of formula, extension tubes, etc...

Ok, so now she's home. Now we have to follow up with all 500 of her specialists in Philly. It's strange how these doctors and nurses have become like family to us. Is it normal for the security guards at a major children's hospital to know you by name? Taking care of Ana is a lot of work but thankfully I have been blessed with an amazing support system which includes my mom. She might not be the one ministering to foster children by having them staying in her home but she is ministering to them by helping to care for my children so that I can get Ana the help and care she needs. I would be lost without Steve and my mom... they make all of this possible.

Fast forward 8 months and Ana is still here. Her mom isn't as motivated but still loves her little girl. She has weekly visits and attends medical appointments (most of the time). Our hearts have swelled and are over flowing with love for this little miracle baby. We've had two hospital stays because of different viruses and health issues for her but overall, she's doing really well. She is in medical daycare during the day which allows me to continue life with our other children. When she comes home from daycare, she nuzzles in to my neck and makes all kinds of noises... pure contentment on her part ... and on mine. My baby is home with us again for the night.

What does the future hold for this little girl??? I do NOT know but we are praying for wisdom and direction and for God's will to be done. How will I ever say good-bye to my little sidekick (literally)? Life is so sweet because I have had the chance to love this little girl. I have had the chance to become part of the special needs world and I love it. Is it easy? NO! Is it what's most desirable? NO! Is it how God has planned it? YES! And for that Steve and I know that we are IN the will of God and DOING the will of God. Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." It is our joy to serve our Lord by serving Ana. We feel honored that God has called us to be her Mama and Daddy for however long he sees fit.

So, you see.. Life really is a piece of cake... it's sweeter then I ever imagined it would be and I'm fuller because of God's blessings then I ever knew I could be and I love cake with lots of layers.

Wow, I need to update this thing!

Well, what's it been.... almost a year since I posted something on this blog? I'm so sorry! I am going to try to be better at posting and keeping everything up to date. It's been a little crazy these past few months with a 10 year old, a 9 year old, a 2 year old and a 1 year old running around! I wouldn't change my busyness for the world and love to hear the pitter patter of little feet and the laughter of my children.

To update things a bit, Taevion and T'aeja officially became the newest members of the Wisler family on August 3, 2010. They legally became Elijah Robert Wisler and Kayla Faith Wisler. Robert is my grandfather's name and he was an amazing man of God who pastored for many years. He would have loved these children but he went home to be with the Lord 4 yeas ago after a long battle with Lymphoma. Faith is what it took for us to step out of our comfort zone and and place the whole adoption situation in God's hands. It has been an amazing story of ups and downs and of seeing God's faithfulness and goodness to our family. It feels amazing to have them be ours FOREVER and yes, I love being the mom of a little girl! Had we had a little girl right from the start, I don't think I would appreciate all of the little things that little girls do and how they act. She has Steve (and ok, myself) wrapped right around her little fingers. Eli is a busy little man with a love for life and a love for making noise but that's ok! Steve and I say that we are excited to see what God does with this little boy and how that loud voice and zest for life will be used. They are so dear and precious and going through this process has reminded me yet again of how I too have been adopted into God's family and I am a child of the King.

Ethan is 10 years old and is in the 4th grade. He loves learning at school, playing outside and is such a sweet boy! Drew is 9 and is in the 3rd grade. He loves socializing at school, playing outside and is also a great kid! We have been blessed and are humbled to think that we are the perfect parents for these four blessings. We know our sins and our short comings but God still wants to use us! We are so thankful for the opportunity to expand the walls of our heart to welcome Eli and Kayla and somehow, the walls of our home seem to expand as well. Despite our small house, we are all happy and content and look forward to what God has in store for our family of six!

2 By 2 They Come...

Our big announcement is that.........





WE ARE GOING TO PURSUE THE ADOPTION OF TAEVION AND T'AEJA!!!!!!!





Yup! You read that correctly! Steve and I have been praying and thinking about this for many weeks and we feel that it is time for us to be obedient to God's calling to have Taevion and T'aeja find their forever family with our family. There are still so many doors that God can shut but until He closes the door to them being our children, we are going to pursue adopting them. It's been amazing to see the Lord work in this case and we find ourselves wanting to chuckle that God thinks He can use us to parent 2 more kids but we feel honored (as well as a tad overwhelmed at the responsibility of raising 4 kids).





On Wednesday, September 2nd, Sarah, our caseworker from the county, came out to our house like she does every month. We have a very good relationship with her and a tremendous amount of respect for the work that she does. Well, she mentioned while she was here visiting the kids that it looks like Taevion and T'aeja's older brother, Lametri will most likely be put in a separate adoptive home. I was heart broken for him because I think it's important that siblings be kept together but when she shared with me the concerns of placing them together, I completely understood. She casually said that if we were interested in adopting just the babies, that she would be in touch with an adoption caseworker in her office. My heart did a little flip flop and I asked her, "What exactly are you saying?" She was saying exactly what I thought she was saying. I laughed about it and said that I would mention it to Steve. Little did she know that we had often said that if the Lord had it so that just Taevion and T'aeja could be adopted, we would snag them up in an instant. Now that this was the case, did we really mean it?





A few days later I was on the phone with Ikysha who is our caseworker from Bethany. She asked if I heard the news of Lametri being adopted separately. I told her that Sarah had shared that info with me and that I was sad for him. She said that it is going to be so good for him to be in a different home and again listed the reasons why. I told her that if it was true that he was going to be adopted separately then Steve and I would like to talk with her more about pursuing an adoption of the babies. She was so thrilled that I think she screamed into the phone. We were both laughing and talking a mile a minute and she came out to our home on Thursday, September 17th. For those of you who read the blog posting about Taevion and T'aeja's court hearing on Tuesday, September 15th, you may notice that it was kept fairly short but filled with excitement. That's because Steve and I had already decided that we would like for the Taes to be our children and the court hearing that was held on that day was a huge day for us. We were on the phone celebrating and carrying on with Lamteri's foster parents, Stan and Dawn and with our caseworkers who knew that we were open to pursuing the Taes adoption .





The hardest part about this whole thing is that we had decided to keep the news from our families. This wasn't done to hurt their feelings or make them feel out of the loop... we just knew that there were (and are) so many doors that the Lord can still shut and we decided to wait 'til things looked a little more sure before sharing the news with everyone. It's similar to finding out your pregnant and wanting to share the news with the world but know it's a good idea to wait a few weeks. Our families love Taevion and T'aeja so much and we know that their hearts would over flow with happiness if we told them that we are pursuing and adoption but they would be so devastated if this fell through and the babies had to go to another home. So as I write this right now, our families don't know that 2 more little ones are going to be calling them Nana and Pappy, G-Mom and Poppy, Auntie and Uncle, Dee Dee, Grammy, Dadu, and are going to be a part of our family forever (Lord willing). We have talked very vaguely with Ethan and Andrew about what their thoughts are on adopting the babies and they are ok with it. Andrew just says that Taevion is too loud when he's trying to watch TV and that frustrates him but we don't think that's a good enough reason to not adopt. Ethan said, "Oh great! I'm going to have to change Taevion's poops for the rest of my life." Mind you, he's only changed one poopy diaper and that's because he wanted to and I don't really foresee him changing Tae's poops for the rest of his life. That would be a bit strange and again, it's not a good enough reason for us to pass on this opportunity to adopt.





So, please pray for us and for the babies. We are trying to keep an open and level mind but our hearts are so involved with these little guys and we can't imagine them not being a part of family now. We've been talking about changing their names (our caseworkers have advised us that this would be a very good idea and are encouraging it) so now we are making lists of boys names and girls names...


We are cautiously optimistic and are trying to remember that things can change in a heartbeat since the county is involved and a bunch of caseworkers' opinions are what determine the future of these little guys. It's comforting again to know that God is the ultimate decision maker and already knows the outcome. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 We're just taking it a day at a time and praying through each day...